Hexagrams 3 and 2

I asked today about work life, specifically. I want to know where things stand and what's in store.

Baseline: "Right from the start you face an obstacle. Do not try to force things, but never lose sight of your goals. Look out for support; a modest, open attitude will contribute to this."

5th: "You cannot transfer your ideas to others; therefore you will achieve an improvement only quietly and in small steps."

This automatically touches on two key aspects of what I'm working on: the first, pertaining to the baseline is a "within" practice of confidence and clarity and groundedness in self. The baseline seems to have more to do with "being." The 5th line has more to do with "doing" and the actions I want to take this year. I like that it talks about quiet, small steps. That will be my mantra this year: sustaining smaller steps rather than going away and working towards big ones alone. I will be living what I teach this year.

Now onto future state:
"The Receptive - This sign stands for the receptive, devoted force in nature that generates all things, the good as well as the bad, and which preserves that balance of giving and taking. Try to fully understand these natural laws and to live according to them. Here you are dealing with facts rather than potential. Accept your fate without any reservations, which will reinforce your character and will contribute to a wise perspective of the whole. Do not rely on your personal impressions, but involve helpers in your plan. Together, you can reach great things. Don't monopolize leadership, but let others take the initiative. Take time to think about the direction your life should take. Right now, it is important to find the natural answer to the events that surround you. An answer that is in keeping with natural laws is above earthly concerns and will promote your inner peace."

I'll take this. Seems like it's time to get moving - at least that's what the natural force is calling for. I'll do some work now, then a walk in the woods, then a swim (yum).

Hexagrams 51 and 57

Back at it again today. Asked specifically about my day today and got a bit of a doomsday scenario in the response. First of all, every single line was different, so I had a lot to take in. And each line "graduated" the state of affairs into a sort of state of emergency. Take a look -

(These are listed with Baseline at the bottom and 6th line at the top, but you read from top to bottom on this, so I reordered it. I'm probably going to some Chinese version of hell upon death.)

Baseline: "An unexpected event frightens you. Yet you will soon see that it was only a passing phenomenon. With relief you will find that it was all okay and that you even profit from it.

Okay, so like maybe Stephanie not coming on time was the event? I wouldn't say I was frightened, but maybe managing my expectations to account for Josh's feelings? I guess? Feels like a stretch.

2nd line:
"A sudden situation brings the danger of great loss, but don't start with hectic activity. Accept certain disadvantages in order to protect against further harm. When the time is right, you will be compensated for all you have lost."

Um... okay, so I wouldn't say my work calls brought danger of great loss. I'm not sure. I am definitely not feeling hectic, so, I guess I'm doing good. I like this idea of being compensated. I don't like feeling of loss. What.

3rd line:
"An unexpected event tests your inner strength. Try to stay relaxed and keep things in perspective. Look out for opportunities to change, which will reduce the danger."

Okay, what is going to happen this afternoon? I am now scared of the to be event that will test my inner strength. All of this just builds up the argument to go home and take a nap.

4th line:
"The shattering paralyzes you completely. You are confused and unprepared. In these circumstances no progress can be made, so wait and admit that you are helpless."

5th line:
"One shattering is followed by the next. You will survive this time if you smoothly adapt to circumstances. Do not betray your values and take a firm point in the external world."

6th line:
"The shattering confuses the whole society. On your own, you are powerless and those afflicted are so excited that they can't react in a reasonable way. Even if you are admonished for it, withdraw."

Okay, so these three I would qualify as what is happening wake me up when it's over. It feels like all of society will come crashing down today and to be honest, I'm not sure how far off that is. There might be some meeting somewhere that I don't know about that needs to draw off my energy, hopefully for good and not evil. So, I suppose it's healthy for me to think of this at various levels, as it serves. And a word like "shattering" can happen loudly on a small scale.

The Gentle/The Penetrative Influence/The Wind
"It is invisible and often hardly perceptible, yet the wind influences weather on a global scale and even builds whole landscapes. Without its continuous movement, the clouds would not bring rain, move on and make room for sunshine. Many vital things would simply cease to exist without the all-pervasive force of the wind. In your situation, you should proceed gently and with empathy. Stormy eruptions will only create a swath of destruction. To achieve something of permanence, you now need to act with a combination of unobtrusive effort, continual influence and goal-oriented action. This will not achieve spectacular effects, but your success will be all the more amazing. To influence people, you need to take into account their feelings, motivation and place of being, and to patiently accompany them in their development. The creativity of your mind will be strong and influential as soon as it blows in a single direction, and with determination."

Update: Nothing hugely dramatic happened yesterday. I ended up in a kind of burnt out place, but not doom and gloom like there could have been given my I Ching reading!

Hexagrams 59 and 52

Okay, so this is pretty insane. Day 2 of I Ching and I wanted to try asking about something specific. A friend had given me some information they got about the house and I wanted to get more inputs, rather than just reacting. So, I asked specifically about the house. Backstory: we put an offer in on a house, they accepted, and the move is contingent on them finding something else. So I asked specifically about the house. 

Hexagram 59 was Current State. And there were differences on the 2nd, 3rd and 5th lines. Here goes:

2nd: "You are the problem as well as its cause. Change your attitude and you will lose that feeling of estrangement. Look for what connects you with others, be tolerant and avoid unnecessary suffering." So, I've been digging my heels in a little bit and really vocalizing the "fingers crossed" feeling I have in the house. And Josh is dreaming. And I love that about him and want to dream with him. So, screw it. I'm going to dream with him. I am going to text him now letting him know, be right back. Ahhh, what relief. I just wrote him and feel proud about it. This is me being proud.

3rd: "The task ahead is comprehensive and difficult. You need to resign from all personal interest in order to deal with it. Work which serves the greater good is especially rewarding now, and mobilizes unthought-of powers. This in turn brings recognition and success." I know this whole process will not feel easy, but I'm hopeful it will at least feel productive. I believe that my, our, family is the "greater good" in this case. I need to show them I'm all in, which requires trusting my own voice, not necessarily the voices of others.

5th: "When old, encrusted structures dissolve, new and brilliant ideas will be born. Energies start to flow that were bound up until now, enterprises are tackled with new motivation, and success is achieved." This trip with Robert, I've taken a bit more of a "let's have a good time" approach. And, I want him to know that he is loved. I think this new energy is us as a family. I haven't been able to trust old family energies because they've let me down. I have to go here with my family to deepen trust and relationship. I need to lead us a bit there. Those guys are ready. 

And I'm tearing up at the coffeeshop. Of course. This is exactly what I want my job to be: just being the best possible human I can be. I am going to try out some meditation at lunch. After I get a bit more work done. I feel like I've already been productive this morning.

Oh! And the Future State:

"Steadfast and firm the mountain rests in itself. Therefore, this sign advises you to enter a meditative state that calms your mind and delegates your striving, anxious and wanting ego to second place. As soon as your thoughts do not reach beyond the present moment you will soothe your inner turmoil Regular meditation gives you inner peace and serenity in a short time. Even the enhausting complexity of modern times is cleared by meditation to the extent that you gain new energy and your perspective becomes clear. The challenges of the modern world necessitate that we seek inner quietness in order to act in accordance with the times, and not be driven by them and submit to pressure. Your reltationships, too, will profit from your new serenity. To decide when the time for keeping quiet is over, and the time for action has come, you need to observe yourself and the world in quietness and from a distance. Then trust your intuition." 

So - more of this and quiet and peace to come. I will built it for myself. 

Hexagrams 53 and 52

BOOM. Right out the gate, a strong start. The first night using I Ching really resonates with me. I decided to focus on my general life, rather than something specific in my life.

This is my first time ever doing this. My husband got me this gift for Christmas and I think I'm going to be into it, so I'm wanting to make this a thing. So, I read part of the intro, got bored and then skipped to the most basic directions that say:
Draw a card. This is current state.
Draw another card. This is future state.
Determine which lines are different between cards and read those things (on the first card).
Then read the text on the second card.

So, on Hexagram 53, the 5th line (the one that's different) says: "The further you progress, the more you become a target for attacks. It is likely that even people near you will misjudge you. You will achieve nothing concrete when you are so isolated. In the long term, these problems will dissolve."

So, back to BOOM. This is ringing true. I am feeling a lot of hunger to be bigger and do more. A call, almost. To shake up the world, take a stand and claim my piece. But it's really intimidating and daunting. I want to be standing in it and there is a strong pull back to go lie down and rest. I blame the "resting" voice within me on grief for my father. I think I deserve a decade long nap for going through this. I know there is worse. I know I am learning. And it's still draining.

In summary, current state, this quote is giving me a kind of kick in the ass, which I am into. A reminder that I can't be so concerned with what other people thing. I need to stand in my thing, be prouder, own it and share it.

So, onto future state. Hexagram 52 says: "Steadfast and firm the mountain rests in itself. Therefore, this sign advises you to enter a meditative state that calms your mind and delegates your striving, anxious and wanting ego to second place. As soon as your thoughts do not reach beyond the present moment you will soothe your inner turmoil. Regular meditation gives you inner peace and serenity in a short time. Even the exhausting complexity of modern times is cleared by meditation to the extent that you gain new energy and your perspective becomes clear. The challenges of the modern world necessitate that we seek inner quietness in order to act in accordance with the times, and not be driven by them and submit to pressure. Your relationships, too, will profit from your new serenity. To decide when the time for keeping quiet is over, and the time for action has come, you need to observe yourself and the world in quietness and from a distance. Then trust your intuition."

This is where things get real. As I was reading this, it felt like there was nice cool aloe sweeping across my body. The heating up I've been doing - at night, throughout the day - is a result of inner turmoil. I might think it seems quiet inside, but I've just turned the volume down. It won't last. Seeking inner peace is exactly what I need.

I also love this idea of getting myself in quietness and observing myself and the world from a distance. I can picture long morning walks being important as part of this journey. It might not be while Robert is here, but I can start planning now, for sure. And I can always meditate anywhere. I might even make a point to walk up to Singing Beach to meditate - get out in nature.

I believe this is a form of meditation too. Writing for reflection. I hope my sharing it will give you something in some small way too. I don't know who you are, but making you up helps keep me accountable. You're the crowd in my arena. And I want you to know how grateful I am that you're here.