BOOM. Right out the gate, a strong start. The first night using I Ching really resonates with me. I decided to focus on my general life, rather than something specific in my life.
This is my first time ever doing this. My husband got me this gift for Christmas and I think I'm going to be into it, so I'm wanting to make this a thing. So, I read part of the intro, got bored and then skipped to the most basic directions that say:
Draw a card. This is current state.
Draw another card. This is future state.
Determine which lines are different between cards and read those things (on the first card).
Then read the text on the second card.
So, on Hexagram 53, the 5th line (the one that's different) says: "The further you progress, the more you become a target for attacks. It is likely that even people near you will misjudge you. You will achieve nothing concrete when you are so isolated. In the long term, these problems will dissolve."
So, back to BOOM. This is ringing true. I am feeling a lot of hunger to be bigger and do more. A call, almost. To shake up the world, take a stand and claim my piece. But it's really intimidating and daunting. I want to be standing in it and there is a strong pull back to go lie down and rest. I blame the "resting" voice within me on grief for my father. I think I deserve a decade long nap for going through this. I know there is worse. I know I am learning. And it's still draining.
In summary, current state, this quote is giving me a kind of kick in the ass, which I am into. A reminder that I can't be so concerned with what other people thing. I need to stand in my thing, be prouder, own it and share it.
So, onto future state. Hexagram 52 says: "Steadfast and firm the mountain rests in itself. Therefore, this sign advises you to enter a meditative state that calms your mind and delegates your striving, anxious and wanting ego to second place. As soon as your thoughts do not reach beyond the present moment you will soothe your inner turmoil. Regular meditation gives you inner peace and serenity in a short time. Even the exhausting complexity of modern times is cleared by meditation to the extent that you gain new energy and your perspective becomes clear. The challenges of the modern world necessitate that we seek inner quietness in order to act in accordance with the times, and not be driven by them and submit to pressure. Your relationships, too, will profit from your new serenity. To decide when the time for keeping quiet is over, and the time for action has come, you need to observe yourself and the world in quietness and from a distance. Then trust your intuition."
This is where things get real. As I was reading this, it felt like there was nice cool aloe sweeping across my body. The heating up I've been doing - at night, throughout the day - is a result of inner turmoil. I might think it seems quiet inside, but I've just turned the volume down. It won't last. Seeking inner peace is exactly what I need.
I also love this idea of getting myself in quietness and observing myself and the world from a distance. I can picture long morning walks being important as part of this journey. It might not be while Robert is here, but I can start planning now, for sure. And I can always meditate anywhere. I might even make a point to walk up to Singing Beach to meditate - get out in nature.
I believe this is a form of meditation too. Writing for reflection. I hope my sharing it will give you something in some small way too. I don't know who you are, but making you up helps keep me accountable. You're the crowd in my arena. And I want you to know how grateful I am that you're here.
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